BEHIND THE WORDS LITERARY CONVERSATION
with
Dani Alpert, author of HELLO? WHO IS THIS? MARGARET?
How did the idea of turning your life’s near misses into essays take shape?
After writing my memoir, I couldn’t imagine writing another one. I wanted a more manageable (and shorter) format. I didn’t consciously think, “hey, I’ll turn my life’s near misses into essays.” It just so happened that my life and experiences are full of near misses. I thought some of these might be funny. I’m only ever interested in whether something is funny or not.
Many of your stories center on rejection and “almosts.” Which rejection taught you the most, and how did it shape the way you write today?
In terms of writing, not getting hired by Norman Lear. May he rest in peace. From that meeting on, I’ve tried to be honest about work experience or lack of, and my capabilities.
Your essays range from Hollywood ambitions to shopping for gas masks during COVID. How do you decide which absurd or extreme experiences are worth turning into a story?
I don’t always know. If there’s a kernel of funny, I’ll explore it. Some absurdities are a quick tell and don’t lend themselves to a longer form, while others develop into something that I didn’t know was there. As I write, I can see which is which.
Humor is central to your work, even when recounting painful or embarrassing moments. How do you know when a story is funny versus when it’s too raw to joke about?
It’s a feeling, instinct maybe. If I’m working on a personal story and my gut starts knotting over some detail or event, it’s probably not the story I want to tell. It may not be about the rawness, but whether I want to share it. Not everything is for public consumption. Sometimes, the humor outweighs the intimacy and rawness. I ask myself: Is it necessary and crucial to the story to include it, or am I just trying to shock?
You’ve worn many hats—performer, writer, Pilates instructor, advocate. How do these identities inform your voice in these essays?
My voice, point of view, or tone, whatever you want to call it, is the same, no matter what I’m writing about, whether it’s performing, Pilates, or Covid. I don’t consider them as different identities, as much as parts of my personality. I relate to and speak on any topic, and my voice doesn’t change.
The title itself feels like an exclamation, a question, and a reference to a missed connection. How do you see the title reflecting the book’s themes?
The title is a reference to Judy Blume’s book Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret? The conceit in my title being, Margaret is now of a certain age and still calling on God. The expression on God’s (the old lady on the cover) face is, “You, again?” It’s also a hit of nostalgia and just silly.
Your work often celebrates imperfection and contradictions. How do you hope readers will respond to—or perhaps embrace—their own contradictions after reading your book?
It’s comforting to know that you’re not alone and we’re in this messy life together. I hope readers will see themselves in my imperfections and contradictions and take a deep breath when they look in the mirror. We’re all flawed and imperfect, and putting my shortcomings in the spotlight or under a microscope, I hope readers will see how amusing it all is and carry on. Using humor and having a sense of humor about ourselves is the only way to wade through the mess.
What’s next for you, and why?
I’m planting seeds for another collection. “Why,” you ask? Why not? What else have I got to do?